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The backstory is that I self-educated myself on art until I returned to college in my fifth decade.
Up until then, I was so star-struck by all of the renown artists that I could not imagine doing it myself.
She dips her paintbrush into the delicious alizarin crimson,
remembering the scent of the precious crayons of her youth,
and hard unwept tears at her impotence to draw any vision.
It would take her a lifetime to become a free child, that's the truth.
It took me years to overcome my self-limiting beliefs and make art a regular practice. I tiptoed towards it by writing poetry in my forties, while mothering my only child. Then, as part of a divorce, I was offered two years of college. Instead of getting a technical degree, the more logical choice, I leaped at the chance to get an art degree with a ferocity that surprised me.
Remembering the scent of the precious crayons of her youth,
and the loving aunt, trying to teach her, to "just play" on paper,
It would take her a lifetime to become a free child; that's the truth.
It was time well spent to become an artist, a reality shaper.
It took me so long time because I was also very lost. Like most of us, I had a somewhat challenging childhood.
The loving aunt, trying to teach her, to "just play" on paper,
but play in the abstract was beyond a mother-love-starved child;
It was time well spent to become an artist, a reality shaper.
Would that she could reassure her young self, beguiled.
It's become my passion to encourage anyone with self-limiting beliefs.
I want you to feel encouraged and enabled. I want to inspire and liberate you.
No more the slave to her coal black thoughts, no more
the hard unwept tears at her impotence to draw any vision.
Like the sea, who never stops making waves at the shore,
She dips her paintbrush again into the alizarin crimson.
I freed myself and my paintings are one expression of that feeling.
Namaste',
Kim Hawke
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